MIND AFTER MARRIAGE - CHOOSE DIVORCE OVER SLAVERY ON BOTH SIDES

Don’t make promises to me which you cannot keep,

Don’t buy me gifts at the cost of my basic needs,

Don’t take me to parties when there is no peace in the house,

Don’t make me beg you for the smallest of my needs,

Dont make my mistakes the point of your discussions,

realize that i am different, let me be me , dont make me you

I like being me , allow me to maintain my dignity as being me,

Dont make me feel I am zero or nothing cos my choices are not as u wud make in my place

I choose my battles, let me fight my life's challenges as i feel is right,

I have different soul lessons and a different life plan,

Your responsibility is not same as mine,

Either be me completely or allow freedom as my birth right,

Two people cannot think alike all the time

as long as love & sex keep us together, ignore other parts you dont like,

If you cannot like me the way I am,

Choose whether you want to live with me or choose to quit the game,
Know that we are different people , not identical clones who have to be same,

Dont complain to me about your problems all the time,
 Unless you want to deal with them the way i like,

Manage your own arguments with your family and friends,

Don’t ask me to maintain relations at the cost of my integrity,

Don’t let your mother criticize us all the time,

If she does, don’t support her over me, in every quandary,

Don’t ask me to pretend to be a good , holy person,

When you want a rebel in me to break free from your family,

Don’t spend all my income on pleasing your family or friends,

And then shout at me to curb my requirements,

Don’t own me and then treat me like a dog,

I am not a pet that i can be pushed like a doormat,


 I cannot be happy with just your mercy  on my food or clothing,
dont invest nergy on me if you do it as a duty when its my right,

Don’t fight with me and act cold in bed,

Then say that i am bad person as i don’t support your needs,

Don’t sleep with me in the same bedroom if you don’t want to touch me,

Don’t live with me just because you have adopted me in marriage ,

Don’t ask my parents for money for our holidays and doctor bills,

Learn to balance without spending unnecessarily on luxuries,

Don’t buy cars and fancy mobiles for yourself,

And ask me to manage with old, used trifles,

Don’t ask me why so much money goes on electricity bills,

When i live alone, i manage according to my priorities,

Know that a family is as much your responsibility,

And all the bills increase because you like to use air conditioning not only me,

Don’t say that you have spent all your salary on me,

When i don’t even have a penny for buying me a something i need,

Don’t crib that i don’t dress up fancily like a filmstar,

I barely have enough to buy my kids some toys to feel free,

Don’t curse me that i need maids to manage the house,

You want quality life and it’s a result of joint effort,

Don’t marry me only because you find me good looking,

The beauty will not satisfy you more than a perfume does a day,

Don’t ask me to stay awake and party all night,

I have to get up with the kids and stay alert to help them be all right,

Don’t take me to hotels and restaurants and buy me food,

If that costs you the money i need to maintain my house,

Don’t say you want to buy me gifts and clothes,

And then refuse to give me pocket money salary or buy a laptop for my daily needs,

Don’t be the only person who has an image to maintain,

As your spouse, my standard reflects how much you care for my well being,

I have grown up with a parent who managed pretty well,

We may not have had excess luxuries but they did their best,

They never lost balance on money and cursed us openly for being around,

They did not make extra marital affairs the priority in life,

Don’t keep a fancy house and have no money for children’s special needs,

Don’t say you have to pay rent for us when we don’t need the house you can’t afford in peace,

Don’t crib about insurance and phone bills you have,

It is your decision to spend on all that not mine,

Don’t incur expenditures only to show off to your friends,

Your friends support you, not me in times of need,
,

Don’t buy gifts to impress your family or mine,

And say you are sacrificing when there is no need,

Don’t keep asking me to take money from my parents,

When you decided to marry me and took responsibility ,

Don’t make my parents have pity on me because of our needs,

I do not want to be an economic burden on everybody,

If my parents have to help me with money,

They would rather maintain only me than you with me,

Don’t make fun of my parents for your amusement,

You don’t like it when i do the same to your family,

Don’t crib all the time that you have got married to me,

If life is freer after divorce, please leave my soul free of your mercy,

It’s no longer love, it’s more like slavery,

 I stay with you because i have nowhere to go without my money,

I have children and i don’t want to trouble my family,

I don’t feel needed by you or my parents,

But my children need me and i sacrifice for their needs,

I would be much happier if i could be without your cribbing,

I hate a social life where i cannot even smile in peace,

Don’t crib to your girlfriends that you have to stay married to me,

You are not doing me a favour by keeping me in sympathy,

If i am only like an employee you married for life,

Release me and give me gratuity not mercy in ur eyes,

If you would rather find satisfaction in another’s company,

Realize that you are no longer my dream saviour who i desperately need,

I do not want to be a nuisance in your life who you dont really need,
dont maintain me like a car to keep up with a good social face not any real need,

I am a human being and i like to be respected, valued and cherished,
If you do not need me, what makes you think that i like you feeling sorry u married me,

I have some virtues with which I can spread happiness to those who need,
I like to be acknowledged, loved and be given gratitude as you do,

I have learnt up to cope up with your abuses and thanklessness,

I would prefer being independent, and be with people who praise me for good deeds

We all want to contribute meaningfully in somebody's life
Why ahould we live together when we suffocate each otehr as husband and wife ?
There is so much in us which can be individually explored
We may even find people who love being with us

Marriage is not a relationship by birth and its cos its karma can be repaid in time,
you don't have to treat me like a burden and sacrifice all your life,
Settle the money issues and let us be on ouw own happily,

This is slavery because there is no worthiness attached to the job we do,
the effort of the man and woman are equal in a marriage,
if money can solve our problems, use it to set us free

DELETING SAD MEMORIES FROM LIFE

our mind is like a computer in our command

dont let it rule ur energy, or your life,

erase memories which force u to focus on sadness,

u are the co-creator of your own life,

choose happiness as the energy to focus on,

focus on imaginative films if u dont have happy memories

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ERASING BAD MEMORIES

To  stop  focusing  on  negativity,  it  becomes  necessary  to decide to erase memories of traumatic events of the past. The memories of experiences which made us angry or lowered our self-esteem keep coming to our minds and defeating our spirit to be alive.

Not only thinking about our own memories of bad experiences, but also thinking about other people’s traumas, thefts, suicides, abuses etc. Forces us to be negative. The more we think about negative events in our lives and in the lives of others, the more we recreate their recurrence through our centred energy focus.

Each time we feel negative by thinking about sad events, we release negative hormones in the body. The electric impulses by our feeling negative lowers the life force energy of the soul as they create vacuum like spaces in the conductive channels of soul energy. Just as air cannot pass through vacuum, positive soul force cannot pass through clusters of negative energy in the body. Negative energy acts like rocks in a drain, preventing water from flowing through. When positive soul force is blocked, we feel blocked in our life and spirit. Positive energy cannot spread and the body starts feeling diseased, overtime.

Repeated focus on feeling upset, sad or hurt by past betrayals  or  failures  channelizes  accumulated  negative energy to be stored in different parts of the body and mind. The negative hormones release consistently and effectively block us from finding happiness in the future, as our internal dominant focus remains away from the energy of happiness.

Energies multiply due to our focus and if we feel non positive, we cannot multiply energies of positivity.

By  focusing  on  the  negative,  problems  or  worries,  we only multiply negativity and create more negative situations. To heal those emotions which cause us harm physically or depress us mentally, we need to let go of the memories and our attachment to holding them.

Just as a fat man needs to release the need to eat fatty foods to become slim; by releasing our habit of focusing on the negative memories stored in our body, we become happy. We have to keep making attempts to shift focus on the positive, and attract positive energies in our life.

Steps of Memory Erase

•       See a traumatic memory in your mind.

•       Make it vivid. Imagine that is happening in the present.

See the people involved. Hear the voices and the accompanying sounds. Focus on the emotion/ the feeling underlying the picture.

•       Note why you feel shocked? What is the core realization that disillusions you? Are you willing to accept the hard truth that the people you respect may not be worthy of respect? Do you want to blame yourself for mistakes you did not do because you want to hold on? Is it choosing to hold on which is hurting you? Are you being held on by promises you made or which you were cheated into making by corrupt intentions of other people? Are you being held on by promises of false love by parents or friends whose body language lowered your self worth than raise it?

•       Reflect on the possibility that you can choose to let go by knowing that those people are not worthy of the merit of intelligence you give them. Know that light or God’s spirit is in that which uplifts your self worth. Anything which depresses your spirits comes from the dark force as it lowers your soul frequency to negative. To rise back to a positive frequency, take your light or soul fragment out

of the negative energy which attacks you and let go of the negativity.

•       Focus on the colours of the picture. Also, view the energy of the colours surrounding the picture. Make it vivid.

•       Do you see grey or red or black or brown? Do you see any sparkles of white or golden energy? Relive the memory for a brief moment and see it in pure energy form. Let the picture dissolve and see only energy for a few seconds.

•       Feel your emotions of agony or trauma.

•       Feel the anger coming up.

•       Get out of the picture. Still the picture at the moment you feel worst.

•       See it as a paper painting. Imagine it going far, then coming near, going far, then coming near again. Loosen its hold this way.

•       Now, start making the colours black and white. Let them get blurred.

•       Lower the sounds as if they are incoherently blurred. Make the picture hazy as if it’s dissolving into formlessness.

•       Start passing white light through it.

•       Hear the sounds blurring further till you cannot make out any word legible.

•       Only feel the energies underlying the words now. Note that there would be energies which hurt you. You may find yourself feeling energies of helplessness, pressure to perform, anxiety of erring, rigidity of thinking , inflexibility, negative traditional views, subconscious scheming to lower your self worth, underlined jealousy, hatred or negative judgment.

•       Imagine  the  person  speaking  to  be  a  demonic  entity inside that body.

•       Let the body dissolve and only see the demonism. Feel the images or sounds turning into energies. You may feel fire or black smoke coming towards you.

•       Pour water onto the attacking energies and hold a mirror between you and that energy. The mirror will reflect back that person’s energy.

•       Now, see the demon becoming smaller and smaller and see yourself becoming bigger and bigger.

•       If you want to say anything which you have left unsaid, speak it out. Release all your stored up anger. Feel all your negative energy going out from your body towards that person through a filter. All that which is his energy would be taken back by him. As he takes back his own negative energy, the person may become smaller in size. Allow the first impressions in your mind.

•       Take your energy back from that person. Let there be glass wall in between you and that person from which your soul energy comes back to you. Become bigger with the positive energy filling you up. Rise so high that the demon appears like an ant. Crush the ant.

•       Feel the blood coming out. Surround the blood with electric violet light and see it being sucked into a black hole.

•       Feel  powerful  standing  over  the  demon  with  clarity dawning into your mind.

•       Feel white light coming onto you from above and feel yourself getting bathed with energy.

•       See balls of black smoke getting released out of the top of your head, your stomach or any part of the body which appears tense.

•       Release black balls of smoke from your feet.

•       Feel a white cloud of light entering you from the sky.

•       Feel  that  your  whole  body  is  filled  with  white  light.

Imagine glowing like a bulb.

•       Imagine that you are rising above the ground that held you like a magnet.

•       And if your subconscious mind suggests, feel little wings

coming over which can help you fly.

•       Now, feel yourself going into the clouds, flying into an imagined place of bliss where you get the love and respect you deserve.

•       Feel yourself being appreciated for your positive qualities.

Accept being loved and feel the energy of love in your stomach. Forgive yourself if you have guilt.

•       Now, with that energy of being loved, fly back into the

situation.

•       Feel the memory dissolving as if swept over by a wave of water.

•       Now, fill that place with a formless golden or white light

or any happy memory.

•       Feel  happy  for  a  few  moments  thinking  of  a  happy imagination or a happy memory.

•       Again check on the sad memory but let it be hazy or black and white. Don’t revive it. Let it go. Feel the sadness from the memory getting separated from it and moving further and further from you as if it is a ball being sucked into the sunlight. As the energy of hurt leaves the memory, let the memory dissolve into nothingness or into a black hole. Feel lots of water or light filling up that place so that the memory is washed away.

•       Imagine your soul fragment coming out of the memory in to you. Learn whatever makes you feel guilty in that experience. Relive the memory as you would have preferred it to be if you had been careful.

•       Keep the learning and let go of the memory and pretend it never happened. Detach from it completely as it won’t affect you without your emotions captured in it.

•       See the ball of negativity or the whole memory becoming a spot and disappear into the SUN. The blackness will go into a black hole and the light from it will be absorbed by the SUN.

•       Let new light come from the SUN come and fill in its place.

Feel that you have been enlightened by the light filling in you. You may imagine hearing some intuitive words of wisdom or feel a ball of knowledge filling you.

•       Now, feel relaxed and again visualize white light all over your body. Think of a happy memory or think of feeling loved and respected in your imagination. Inhale the feelings in your stomach. Take a breath of silence.

•       Thank  God  that  you  have  the  power  to  control  your mind. You have erased the memory. If it comes again, it will be less intense. Repeat the exercise. Overtime, you will imbibe the learning, detach from it and completely re-script your mind.

EXCERPT FROM:

REDEFINING HAPPINESS ( HOW TO HANDLE NEGATIVE FEELINGS, A SOUL'S PERSPECTIVE )

TECHNIQUE 14