Tuesday, 4 March 2014


Patterns repeat in our lives
because our  present is an extension of the past
the future is an extension of the present times
we take actions to change our external life
but similar emotional problems keep coming up
and make us feel diseased, anxious and deprived
till we change patterns inside our mind 

Man is a social being. Human beings depend on each other for their survival.

As a human being, we need other people to survive. Whether you are a teacher, a corporate executive, a counsellor or a home-maker, you would need people to trust you before they agree to work with you.

Building rapport is essential for building a climate of trust. A person who cannot trust you would never agree with your perspective.

The basis of rapport building is that when people are alike , they like each other.
When a person feels understood by you, s/he would be able to trust you.

Rapport building is the name given to the understanding and trust that develops between people at a subconscious level. When people are in rapport, they accept and understand each other’s ideas and suggestions almost unconsciously because they trust the other person. People become more receptive to what you say when you are in rapport with them.

On the other hand, when people do not get along with each other, they, also, do not co-operate with each other.

Absence of rapport is the biggest barrier people face when they are working with each other. Working together incorporates the need for good communication skills.

 Due to a lack of awareness of communication skills, our efforts at communication get wasted. According to research, 38% of all communication is tonality and 55% is physiology (body language). Only 7% of communication happens through words. So, most communication happens outside our conscious awareness. 

Rapport building techniques include building rapport in all aspects of communication taking place which includes:
  1. Building rapport in body language
  2. Building rapport in tonality and
  3. Building rapport through words.

Learning task 1

Think of a person whom you feel does not understand you.
Think of the differences you both have in the following aspects:
  • Do you both usually talk in the same speed or is that person’s speed slower or faster?
  • Does s/he use a different tone than yours? E.g. If you are a person who uses high pitch, does that person talk softly or vice versa?
  • How is his/her body language? If you both are not speaking, do you feel comfortable in that person’s space or do you feel attacked/ subdued/ threatened?
  • Does that person use similar vocabulary to yours or different?
  • What about sentence size - If you speak in short sentences, does that person use long sentences and vica versa?
  • Do you have common experiences that you like to talk about?
  • What about the time frame used? If you think of the immediate consequences, does that person focus on the long run and vica versa?

Learning task 1b
Now, think of a person you like and answer the same questions.
Note the differences in your answers.

This learning task is meant to help you realize, practically, that you like a person. , when you are in rapport with him/her.

When you are in rapport with a person, you are automatically more willing to co-operate.
The same hold true for another person working with you. When the other person is in rapport with you, he is likely to accept your suggestions far quickly then when he is not in rapport with you. Your efforts to communicate produce satisfactory results only when you incorporate the techniques of building rapport.

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