ANGER MANAGEMENT THRU OBSERVING ANOTHER AS SELF

anger can be reduced thru mind control
we dont need to feel victims of external hold

technique 1- breathing exercises, chant OM
technique 2- stay thoughtless, be immune
technique 3 - rehearse mentally staying calm in anger causing situations, use self hypnosis 

TECHNIQUE 4:


Understanding perspectives, taking perceptual positions

Till now to heal anger, we have been focusing on treating the abuser as a devolved soul, so that his words do not affect us as much. The idea is to develop immunity from the negative virus of anger which comes as a reaction to betrayal, arrogance, incompetency, theft or injustice.

However,  if  a  situation  keeps  coming  up  repeatedly,  it may be that our soul needs to learn something else from it other  than  developing  emotional  immunity.  Understanding the perspective of the other person may help us develop our intellectual abilities, reasoning and convincing skills.

To understand a different perspective, it helps to create a hypnodrama in imagination. In this drama, we need to be both the people arguing. We need to imagine that the abuser and the victim are the same person playing different roles.

We can imagine a hypnodrama by pretending to be both people, while we enact the anger creating situation in our mind. In the anger creating situation, we enter the body of the person who is abusing us or in the body of the person who we are abusing. By entering his or her body, we understand life from his perspective. In that body, we think from that mind, have his values and beliefs, have faced his difficulties, have his memories of bitter and good experiences and his truant habits or his abilities to be truthful.

By entering the body of the person and pretending being him or her, we can understand the feelings of the other person. We can also know how justified he is from his position or how much can he follow our argument.

For example, a woman may be married to a man who is finicky about cleanliness or vica versa. Usually, the couple would fight if one person is not so particular on being neat and clean while the other person is. But, it is possible that the definitions of cleanliness vary from both perspectives. What is clean for one person may not be clean for the other person because his focus is more on arrangement and neatness than on cleanliness or hygiene.

By entering  the  body of the other person, we can find out how he thinks. Understanding life from his angle would help us know that if his upbringing has trained him to focus on being relaxed or if it has trained him to be finicky about maintaining an order of things. We would realize his priorities of life and how things which do not matter to us at all, make a huge difference in his mind.

After the hypnodrama is over in our imagination and we are satisfied with seeing the world from the other person’s eyes, we need to come back to our body and cut ENERGY CORDS with that person. This step is necessary, particularly, if the other person is negative or abusive in temperament.

Going in another person’s body means attaching to his energy. In this process, we may pick up negative soul fragments from him. Therefore, after the visualized drama of being the abuser and victim, we need to detach again and be different people, so that we can be whole again our own body.

We need to cut the emotional cord with that person, come back to our body, send his soul fragment back to him, take our soul fragment back and put a glass wall in between. Then, we need to end the process with a smile, feeling happy, that we have expanded in our consciousness by understanding the other’s perspective.

By understanding perspectives as being different, we can detach more easily from the other person’s views. We can realize that we have different priorities in life and choose to live together by respecting each other’s differences. It would also make us more indifferent and less hurt by his dogmatism.

Knowing different perspectives helps us mellow down considerably, as we often discover that there are differences in core value systems, which cannot be completely addressed by verbal arguments on peripheral issues.

People vary in their definitions of most virtues of life. For example,  some  people  define  feeling  loved  by  being  loyal, while others do not feel that loyalty is a priority. They are more concerned with the economics involved in living together. Similarly, some people define beauty by the clothes a person wears, whereas for others beauty is perceived through reading the brightness in a person’s aura.

Some people define efficiency by judging how a person performs in physical chores like being organized in the house, cooking, plumbing and maintenance skills; whereas other people define efficiency through how a person carries himself, how he talks, reasons, understands etc.

The need for anger also reduces by using hypnodrama, because understanding perspectives helps us develop coercion skills; as we may discover how to logically convince the other person, given his set of priorities.

It does not help to stay angry with a person expecting him or her to understand us. If the person does not display understanding inspite of our repeated hope, it means that his perspective about life is very different. It also means that we are generally focused on the feeling that we are non-understood and hence, we create the vibration of being non-understood from the person we love.

Energies multiply according to our focus. If we can create the feelings in us that we are generally loved and understood, we would automatically attract a person who thinks like us. When perspectives are similar, frictions would be less.