Sunday, 12 October 2014


We are exposed from childhood to several rules or expectations about how life should be.

For example, we are taught how things should be in an ideal life, how we should behave, what and how much we should eat or not eat, what defines beauty, what should we expect out of love, what is a good marriage and what isn’t, what constitutes success and what does not, what is right and wrong, good and bad etc.

As children, we are rarely taught to question rules. We are not taught to ask “Who says so and why?” In essence, as children, we allow ourselves to get programmed into believing rules and beliefs blindly.

We grow up with this subconscious programming and whenever we encounter any situation in adult life, we subconsciously check on our rules before acting upon it.

To understand this process of how we assess the rules consider the following example:

Read the following words--wtaer, etarh, cmoptuer,sinwg, bkie.
Can you make out the meanings? With a little focus, you can.
(The words are—water, earth, computer, swing, bike)

Even though the letters are jumbled up, the words seem familiar. You can guess the meaning because whenever you encounter an unfamiliar word you cross check it with the most recent familiar memory of it in your mind.

As long as the first letter and the last letter of the word remain intact, you can place it. You identify a word by its first and last letter and you do not read the whole word always. That is a rule for reading in the mind.

Similarly, each of our life situations has similar rules. We identify any activity as being familiar by identifying with its first impact. If we have encountered a similar emotion in any situation, we generalize that experience and impose our impressions from that experience onto the present experience.

Once we check on the first impact and identify that activity as being familiar, then we immediately check on the memory of the similar experience again to find out the last impact of that experience.
 Knowing the outcome helps us to understand what we need to EXPECT in the present experience. That earlier memory of the experience has a belief or rule ingrained in it which guides us whenever any similar situation arises. We thus, pick up the rule and act upon it. We do not try to go deeper and try to find out how the rule was made and why we acted the way we did in the earlier experience.

We usually just pick out the last memory stored of that experience and relive it at the feeling level without bothering to check what goes in between.

For example, if a person is beaten up in childhood for arguing with elders (who are in authority in childhood) it is possible that the person may get so afraid subconsciously, that she may not do so as an adult also. By not getting into arguments, she may become inhibited as an adult. An excessive shyness may develop which would develop misunderstandings between this person and other people.

Whenever this person has a conflict with someone older, she keeps in mind the first part of the rule which says ‘an older person is in authority’ and the last part of that rule which is 'Don’t argue with anyone in authority or you’ll get beaten up emotionally'.

So the person may choose not to clarify herself and feel suppressed even if the older person wants a clarification or an argument, because that is what the rule stored in the mind says. It is easier to follow the rule blindly than go through the exercise of trying to understand her inhibition. .

In other words, usually, we may forget to check on the middle part of the rule which explains why it was made.

Such kinds of life situations happen with all of us where we behave in ways which harm our self esteem without knowing why. 

Excerpt from book CREATION OF HAPPINESS : THE ENERGY WAR , a soul's perspective

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